To Dummy or not to Dummy? That is the Question

 
Most of the photos I have of Darcy with her dummy she is asleep

Before Darcy was born I had a list in my head of do’s and don’t’s that I wanted us to have with Darcy I can safely say a lot of these all went out the window as you don’t really know what you or the baby are going to be like until you are in the moment. One thing that I always thought I would never change my opinion on is Darcy not having a dummy, I am not the hugest fan of toddlers walking around with dummies in their mouths and you always hear the dreaded “dummies give you wonky teeth” story so that was one thing that I thought was set in stone. Fast forward to Darcy being 3 months old and the no dummy rule also went out the window.

Darcy from birth has always stuck her fingers (sometimes her whole fist) in her mouth, as the weeks went past Simon and I increasingly got worried that this was going to be a habit for life. As she grew and was able to use her hands more her hand/fingers went less in the mouth until it came to sleep time, as soon as Darcy got sleepy the fingers went straight in. After weeks of discussing it and thinking of all the positives and negatives when Darcy turned 3 months we decided to give her a dummy when she got sleepy. Our thought process behind this was that; it will be “easier” (note the air quotes) to take the dummy away from her than it would be to take her fingers away, as we knew we didn’t want her to grow up sucking her fingers/thumb.

I love photos of Simon & Darcy asleep 

The first couple of weeks were great, Darcy no longer sucked her fingers and the dummy worked perfectly; as soon as she got sleepy the dummy went in and within minutes she was fast asleep, the dummy would then usually fall out and if she stirred or cried all we had to do was pop the dummy back in and she was asleep again, lovely! Until we started using it for more than just sleep time now it was being used for; sleep time, grumpy time, mummy just needs to wee time, not quite dinner time. It was not all day it was just when she was getting a little grumpy or needy and the older she got she started to know what it was and where kept it when she didn’t have it.

I am sure Darcy is magic because every time Simon and I discussed taking the dummy away she would get poorly and we felt we couldn’t take it away as she needed it to comfort her. This happened every couple of weeks from 10 months until Christmas, so by now Darcy was 1 and we had already discussed by the time she was 1 it was going but yet again she got poorly. One of those lost days between Christmas and New Year we were sitting around talking about goals for 2017 and I said January 1^st Darcy is going cold turkey with the dummy, so the 1^st January came around and we woke up took the dummy away and that was it no one could say the word dummy around Darcy.

 Oh gosh I miss her being this tiny

I can’t say that it hasn’t been hard because it has, but it is nowhere near as bad as I built it up to be in my head. I was expecting a devil child who never slept and sucked their thumb she wasn’t quite that bad. The sleeping was going to be the most difficult aspect for all of us to get used to, her night time routine is quite solid so we hoped that if we kept to it she would fall asleep without the dummy. The first couple of days once Darcy was put to bed she would cry for about 30 minutes as the days passed it turned to 20 minutes, 10 minutes to when eventually Darcy could be put to bed at night without a single cry, hallelujah! We might have the night-time routine down but the day-time nap is a completely different story. This is still a working progress a month down the line but each day it is getting easier for all of us.
 
One thing that I would advise when deciding to take away the dummy or making a big change would be everyone who is involved to be on the same page. Darcy is fortunate not to just have her Daddy and I around she also gets to spend a lot of time with both sets of Grandparents and her Aunties and Uncle and we had to make sure that everyone understood what was going on and our new sleep plans so that Darcy could stay in a routine no matter where she was, as routine is the most vital part when changing an aspect in a babies life.

Whether you do decide to have a dummy or not, each parent to there own. You might be like us and changed your mind or you always knew that you would or wouldn't. One thing I am sure of is that every baby is different even when they are siblings do what you feel is right and never change your values or beliefs for anyone.   

2 Month Update

I cannot believe my little Darcy Ray is 2 months old, cue tears. I love her at this age she lets me cuddle her all day, she smells so good and she is like my own little personal hot water bottle ideal for these chillier months.

Feeding

Darcy loves milk more than I think she loves Baby Daddy and I. She drinks 7 ounces every 4-5 hours; she has set herself a very good routine. Darcy’s first milk of the day is her night feed which happens between 3:30-4:30am the next is breakfast at 8am, then lunch at 12pm, dinner at 5pm, bedtime feed at 10:30pm then the cycle starts again. Darcy is very good at telling me if she has finished, if after 5oz she is full she will push the bottle out with her tongue then shuts her mouth like a stubborn baby and won’t let the bottle back in so I know she is done. If you want to know more about Darcy’s food journey read my previous blog post.

Sleeping

I am not going to brag but I think I have the best baby in the world, okay so I did brag! Darcy goes to bed after her bedtime feed at 10:30pm and sleeps until her night feed between 3:30-4:30am goes back to sleep until 6-7am I told you I had the best baby. Before Darcy graced us with her presence every single person told me to be prepared with how tired we were going to feel but in reality Baby Daddy and I are doing okay (touch wood) and this is all down to how Darcy sleeps at night. I’m not going to lie and say I don’t feel tired by mid-day as I am not used to going to bed at 11am and waking up at 6am but in time I am sure I will feel more awake. When Darcy was only days old she started sucking the back of her hand or her thumb we didn’t want her to get into this habit as it would be a lot harder to stop her from sucking her thumb than it would be to take away a dummy. We only give her the dummy when she is going to sleep as it really calms her down she soon spits it out once she is asleep, the challenge is to not give her the dummy when she is just being groggy.

Likes & Dislikes

Without a doubt Darcy’s favourite thing in her little world is bath time she splashes and smiles, it’s lovely to see. As much as bath time is her favourite thing getting out of the bath is her least favourite thing she screams the house down when we get her out for about 10 minutes. I love that she is a water baby just like Daddy and we cannot wait to take her swimming it is going to blow her tiny mind. Darcy has grown very fond of the Teletubbies she watches them in awe at 7 in the morning I think they may steal her first giggle from me. Other than getting out of the bath another thing that always makes Darcy groan is pausing feeding to burp she is one greedy baby who loves her milk.

 

Personality

For the few weeks of her life I told myself all those gas smiles were real smiles but lets face it they were not but then one day while we were singing there it was her first real smile! It made my heart explode, forget the seven wonders her little smile is my favourite thing to see in the whole wide world. Darcy has a funny little personality she loves being sung and talked to loves to stick her tongue out at you. Darcy gets daily facetimes with Nana, Pop and Auntie Abbi and does not take her eyes off of them the whole time they are talking to her. I love seeing how much she loves them and they love her.  

Achievements      

Already in her little life Darcy has achieved loads she can hold her head up not the whole time she has big cheeks they must get heavy. She has no problem with her eyes she loves watching the television, looking out the window and following you around the room. From day 1 Darcy has had the strongest grip, the other day she actually left nail marks in my hand whilst squeezing out a number 2. I cannot wait to see the big milestones that month three has to offer.

Welcome to the world

Firstly if anyone is good at maths you will be able to work out that I am over 40 weeks pregnant.

So…

I would like to proudly introduce Darcy Ray Hurley born on the 5^th December at 8:17am weighing 8lbs 15oz

Words or dance moves cannot express how much I love this baby girl! 

Shall we talk labour…

It all started on the 4^th December and as far as we were concerned we were having a normal Friday. Baby Daddy and I went and bought the Christmas tree, we tested out the baby carrier using a Minnie Mouse cuddly toy, Baby Daddy went to work and I had a nap. During my last bit of sleep for the next 72 hours (if I had known I would of taken full advantage of the napping time) the phone rang which angrily woke me up, after taking a good couple of minutes to get off the sofa as I was the size of a whale I managed to get to the phone for it only to stop ringing. You wouldn’t believe the anger I felt, 38.5 weeks pregnant the size of a whale and finding it very hard to sleep to be woken up by the phone and not get it in time grrrrr! At that point I felt my underwear get heavy with liquid as you can imagine the first thought that went through my mind was “OMG I have wet myself!” I felt my underwear but the liquid could only be described as water.

You watch the big movie blockbusters and expect your waters breaking to be a scene from the movies; the water gushing out of your body, you screaming in pain and obviously being in the most public and inappropriate place possible. Where in fact mine was the opposite; I was home on my own, felt no pain at all and lost barely any water this is why I was no to sure on what had happened. The first thing I did was ring Baby Daddy and explain that I thought my waters had broken he on the other hand thought I had wet myself but was still heading home. I then rung the midwife and again explained that I thought my waters had broke she was also unsure but asked us to come in at 7pm for check-up, considering it was 4pm I was concerned what I would do for 3 hours.   

Baby Daddy got home and we both just sat there wondering what was going on. We finally decided to put on a Christmas movie and decorate the Christmas tree. I had already rung my parents to give them a heads up that they might be going for a late night drive. After what felt like forever and still feeling no pain we took a slow walk to the midwife unit that thankfully was only a 25-minute walk for a pregnant person and 15 minutes for everyone else. After the check-up with the midwife she said that she was 90% sure my waters had broken and booked me in for an induction the following evening if I hadn’t gone into natural labor.

We were walking home when I got my first contraction at 8:10am, it was a tight feeling in my lower abdomen very bearable. By now my parents were on there way and my contractions were an hour apart. At around about midnight my parents arrived and my contractions were 20 minutes apart and still very bearable they were still just period pain like. We all decided to try and get some sleep but trying to sleep when you are in early stages of labor is practically impossible, for the one going through it Baby Daddy managed to fall asleep quite quickly, I just sat there. Within an hour my contractions went from 20 minutes to 5 minutes to 3 minutes apart but still very bearable pain. I rung the hospital and asked if I needed to make my way in, as we are an hour away (the countryside has its disadvantages) they told us to make our way in. I am very thankful that we left when we did because as soon as we got in the car my contractions went to 2 minutes apart and became a lot more painful. I can’t remember most of that journey as my eyes were shut breathing through the pain but I do remember that it was incredibly windy and we had to make an emergency stop, as there was a large branch in the road.         

This is the point where my memory gets a bit hazy as I do go onto inhale a lot of gas and air. When I got to the hospital the lovely midwife Amanda checked me out and said that I was 4cm, which means established labor Yay! Now the following is what Baby Daddy has told me as gas and air is a bit like being drunk, it numbs pain but also strips you of your memory. We got moved into the labor room and I got strapped to a monitor that would check Baby H’s heartbeat and one that was marking my contractions.

I couldn’t of gone through labor without Baby Daddy and my mum by my side, on the left Baby Daddy was holding my hand and supplying me with water as the gas and air and screaming was really making my throat dry and on the right my mum was helping with my breathing and had her hand on my head which I found really soothing. Without all these elements I wouldn’t have got through labor with just gas and air and in 5.5 hours. I can tell you that it hurt like nothing has ever hurt before in my life but I couldn’t quite tell you how much because I honestly cannot remember how much, which is strange I know. The part that hurt most was when she was coming out because as you can imagine certain parts were being stretched like they have never been stretched before.

I remember the midwife told me it was time to push and I really did feel the urge to push, after 35 minutes of pushing she was out yet the next 3 minutes were the hardest 3 minutes in my life.

Darcy had the cord wrapped around her neck she had also pooped and because of these she was in shock. The midwife had pushed the emergency button and quicker than I could say go the room was filled with at least 10 nurses, there were three surrounding Darcy I had new midwifes looking after me, it just seemed everyone had a job to do. Like I said I can’t really remember any of this, thankfully, all I do remember is wondering where my baby was but also being exhausted. My mum and Baby Daddy said it was the worst 3 minutes of their life as all they saw was Baby H come out blue in the body and white in the face. There is a test that midwifes do on newborn babies, which has a score out of 10, anything above 7 is good and Darcy scored 0 in her first minute of life. After 3 minutes she was scoring 9, which is great. Even though Darcy had a very hard start to life she was only in immediate danger and thankfully had no long-term effects. I cannot thank those midwifes and nurses enough for helping my baby girl in those crucial moments. During this time "supposedly" the midwifes removed my placenta and gave me 2 injections, none of this i remember.

They finally called Baby Daddy over to look at her in the crib so we all knew that she was out of danger. Eventually they put her in my arms and that was it I exploded with love for her and I knew at that moment that I would never let her be in danger ever again. Here are a few photos of those first few hours.

Baby Mumma xx